“Man is by nature a political animal.”
Politics has always been a controversial subject to discuss with others.
Conventional wisdom says to avoid it…especially when meeting someone new.
However, Optimacy doesn’t always follow conventional wisdom!
Benefits of Discussing Politics
1. Gives You a Chance to Shine
If you are passionate about politics and can intelligently defend the rationale behind your beliefs, don’t miss a perfect opportunity to generate attraction.
Discussing politics can help you even if you DON’T share the same beliefs.
Obviously, if you DO share the same beliefs, politics can build rapport and enhance chemistry.
However, you can generate the same (if not more) attraction by intelligently articulating your beliefs…regardless if they sync with the other person’s views or not.
Someone who is sharp and well-spoken resonates charisma.
This ignites attraction in others no matter what they discuss.
In fact, these are the key attributes that many independent (and even partisan) voters subconsciously look for in candidates.
2. Gives You a Chance to Appraise the Other Person
Discussing politics is a great way to evaluate many important traits in others.
Regardless of their specific beliefs, much can be learned by HOW THEY EXPRESS THEIR BELIEFS.
For example…immature people speak about politics from a “know-it-all” and condescending perspective.
Their “arguments” usually regress into name calling or profanity.
These traits are not attractive and never result in anything productive.
Immature behavior discussing politics can foreshadow similar problems in other areas of the relationship.
Conversely, if they listen respectfully to your opinions and seem receptive to understanding your perspective, this evidences a high level of self-esteem and maturity.
Both of these traits translate well to a strong and healthy relationship in other areas.
Don’t be afraid to discuss politics and be honest about your inflexibility in this area. It will save both of you a lot of potential drama and frustration down the road.
Don’t be afraid to discuss politics and be honest about your inflexibility in this area.
It will save both of you a lot of potential drama and frustration down the road.
How to Build Attraction with Politics
Recently, a survey asked men and women to rank various traits in prospective mates in the order of importance. They compared the results to a similar study done many years ago.
Surprisingly, one of the fastest climbing traits was intelligence and education.
If you are well educated and enlightened on political discourse, this is an ideal opportunity to generate attraction.
As mentioned above, the key is HOW you discuss politics.
Here are some critical tips to factor into your discussion.
Become Educated on Politics
Ignorance is not attractive.
If you are going to use political discussions to your advantage, you MUST educate yourself to become knowledgeable and well-spoken.
Be sure to read media that presents news from both sides.
Unfortunately, most “news” is now polarized instead of objective.
If you consume media from just one source, then you will have an inaccurate and uninformed perspective.
You will never be able to see the other side, and your discussions will NOT be conducive to generating attraction.
You may not like listening to adversarial political opinions, but you WILL be better informed and able to articulate views that don’t offend (and may even appeal) to the opposite side.
When acquiring political knowledge, it’s better to focus on being proficient in one particular area versus modestly familiar with many areas.
Think about it…When you listen to someone who speaks with a high level of authority and knowledge in one area, isn’t it more attractive and memorable than when you hear someone speak on a cursory level about multiple topics?
Focus on facts which you know are true…not distorted or contrived information. Facebook statuses, Reddit, or tabloid magazines should NOT be your primary sources.
You both may still interpret facts differently. However, at least you will be debating accurate information versus non-vetted or slanted material.
Look for Common Ground
Start with finding the things you have in common versus differences.
Almost everyone shares similar goals…They might just have different tactics for achieving them.
This is an area where you can use psychology and neurology to your advantage.
If you focus on the similarities FIRST, it will immediately build rapport and grab their attention.
Think about it…When you are nodding your head in agreement with someone, you feel much better about them.
This feeling snowballs to the point where – even if they suddenly say something that you DON’T agree with - you will still tend to keep nodding your head.
Subconsciously, it’s natural to keep that ‘feel-good’ state of agreement going versus breaking it up.
As a result, you tend to overlook any point(s) of disagreement and focus MORE on the things that you have in common.
Humility is a virtue…especially when expressing political views.
You will earn major points by simply admitting that you don’t have all the answers.
You can even mention that you are willing to change your mind if you find convincing evidence.
This evidences a level of wisdom and humility that few people exhibit when discussing politics. It will immediately distinguish you as someone who is secure with yourself while open to growth.
Both of these are important qualities that others subconsciously look for in a mate.
To go a step further, make a point to LISTEN to the other person’s point-of-view.
Try hard to see their side and learn why they feel the way they do.
This information will help you relate to them and increase your ability to spark attraction.
Be careful with the type of questions you ask when listening.
Avoid questions that are passive aggressive such as…
“Do you really believe that?”
“Don’t you see why XYZ is wrong?”
Instead…pose questions that show you really want to understand their side of the issues…such as…
“What led you to XYZ being such a big issue for you?”
“Have you always been this passionate about this position or did something particular spark your beliefs?”
If you take the time to really understand THEIR side of an issue, the other person will likely have a positive view of you even if you don’t agree on every specific point.
Don’t Try to Change Beliefs
Even in the face of contrary evidence, many people will NOT change their beliefs.
It may seem stupid or crazy, but this attitude comes from a neurological necessity for our beliefs to be resistant to change.
Understanding the biological purpose of beliefs can help you be more effective in communicating, so let’s spend a moment discussing the psychology of beliefs.
Psychology of Beliefs
Our brain’s primary purpose is to keep us alive.
Even though it obviously does more than that…survival always comes first.
For example…if we are injured to the point where our body only has enough energy to support consciousness or a heartbeat, the brain makes an easy choice. It will put us into a coma and apply all the energy to maintain a heartbeat.
Even behavioral disorders such drug addiction can be understood by examining their relationship to survival.
Any reduction in the drug will be perceived by the brain as a threat to survival. As a result, the brain defends the substance abuse by producing lies, sneakiness, denial, and other rationalizations to support the disorder.
Some beliefs are not supposed to change easily. If they did, they would be virtually useless as tools for survival.
For example…A caveman would not last long if his belief about dangers in the jungle evaporated every time he went into the jungle and nothing bad happened.
As far as our brain is concerned, there is little need for data and belief to agree. This is why otherwise rational people can believe in things for which there is no credible evidence such as UFOs and psychics.
The brain doesn’t care whether or not our beliefs sync with the most convincing data. It cares whether the belief is helpful for our mental happiness and survival.
Even beliefs that do not seem directly connected to survival can still trigger the same defenses. This is because beliefs do not occur in a vacuum. They are intertwined to create our unique view of the world.
The brain is biased to maintain our existing “view” of the world in order to maintain comfort, control, and safety.
Thus, trying to change any belief, no matter how small can break the brain’s need for consistency and provoke its survival.
For example…despite overwhelming evidence that the earth is much older than 6,000 years old…many Creationists cannot believe the contrary data and accept the Theory of Evolution.
Their brain knows that changing just one belief related to matters of the Bible will sabotage their entire system of religious beliefs and threaten their current views which dictate their actions.
In short…you can’t expect beliefs to change simply by presenting evidence to the contrary.
The task of TRULY changing others beliefs is much more complicated and outside the scope of this article.
However, for the purposes of political discussion, you simply need an appreciation for how hard it is for people to change their beliefs.
It’s very easy for people to get defensive and produce behavior that is hostile.
Thus, you should avoid trying to change someone’s mind unless you have the psychological knowledge and faculties necessary to navigate the process effectively.
Stick to our previous tips above and focus on presenting why YOU believe in what you believe.
Don’t escalate the discussion to anything that provokes the other person.
Acting sarcastic or demeaning will threaten the other person and give them a reason to engage in a tit-for-tat exchange that piggybacks into our next tip…
Never Get Angry
Even though you don’t agree with someone, it doesn’t mean you should get angry and resort to personal attacks.
While you don’t have to agree with the other person’s view, you should still acknowledge that his or her view is valid.
If you get to the point in a conversation where it may lead to anger or an argument, then transition out of the political discussion ASAP!
Look for similar signs in the other person.
If they grow quiet or start becoming defensive, then it’s best to talk about something else instead of being stubborn and arguing your point.
One of the best transitions involves COMPLEMENTING the other person on their opposing point of view.
For example, you could say something like…
“I may not agree with you, but I’m very impressed with how knowledgeable you are on this topic. I might have to re-consider my opinion one day. Cheers!”
[toast your glasses and move to the next topic]
This one line will COMPLETELY disarm any animosity built up and make them putty in your hand.
Few people would say something as mature and classy as that line. It will immediately elevate your status in their mind…regardless of any specific disagreements you had.
Make Politics Fun
No doubt…A strong relationship is easier when you both share similar political opinions.
However, a little tension in any relationship can be sexy and exciting if managed properly.
If you are someone who is already in a relationship, and your partner has an opposing political preference…don’t fight it. Just accept their differing point of view.
However…instead of keeping it an elephant in the closet…use the differences to inject a sense of humor and fun.
Playfully tease your partner without demeaning them. The exchange of wit can be a huge turn-on.
Just make sure to ALWAYS transition the tension into some release…like the BEDROOM!!!
Before long, you might realize that discussing politics can be an ASSET versus a liability in the art of attraction!