“Sex is a part of nature…
I go along with nature.”
Humans are the only species that experiences so much anxiety, fear, and ignorance regarding sex.
Even though we are instinctively hardwired to have “sex”...certain cultural and religious beliefs have influenced many people’s beliefs and actions.
In some cases, the “influence” has resulted in shame, repression, and/or anxiety about sex.
Others think they know it all…but their knowledge usually turns out to be a product of myths and misinformation from friends/family/movies/etc.
Men and women want different things from sex…which further compounds the problems.
Sometimes we THINK we know what our partner wants, but we have no clue.
Other times…our brain tells us to do one thing, but our instincts and hormones urge us to do something else.
In our series of articles about sex, you will learn everything from the basics to the most esoteric topics. In the upcoming weeks, you will gain access to articles covering…
— Kissing – Detailed techniques and walk-throughs
— Foreplay – Including specific techniques for oral sex
— How to get a woman in bed – Overcoming last minute resistance
— Intercourse – Everything from the basics to advanced
— Techniques to Enhance Performance
— Safe Sex – A great refresher course including how to have the “talk”
Once you are finished, there will be no excuse for not being a master of the bedroom.
However, before getting into advanced topics, we need to start with the basics.
After working with clients for many years, males clearly have the most misunderstandings related to sex.
Although many of our articles in this area are geared to the male perspective…we’re confident both males and females will benefit from the insights.
Understanding the DIFFERENCES between males and females is Step 1 to mastering sexual relations.
Women are hardwired differently than men.
We’re not just talking about biology…We’re talking neurology.
Generally speaking…men are turned on by visual images that indicate youth, fertility, and good health.
A woman has a more complex, DUAL sex drive.
The first is centered on finding a mate for life who will support her and her offspring. (This is why “LOVE” is such an important part of the sex equation for many woman.)
The second is a desire to produce the healthiest children by mating with the best genetic specimens. (This desire is independent of whether the male will stick around and support her and the child.)
Depending on a woman’s maturity, experiences, and current situation…one or the other desire will dominate her thought processes.
For example, once a woman has secured her life mate (i.e. gotten married) her sexual desire for her husband may diminish over time. This is why a high percentage of married couples report having much less sex AFTER marriage.
Sometimes…instead of no desire for sex…a married woman’s second desire will take hold. This may result in affairs or other atypical relationships.
Similarly, if a woman is young and not even considering marriage, she will primarily desire men with a superior genetic makeup – not ones who can create a stable home environment. (This is one reason why nice guys sometimes finish last.)
On the flip side, if a woman has partied a lot and is ready to settle down, then her primary desire will be for a stable mate for life.
Both desires are natural and one does not make a woman more immoral than the other.
It’s simply part of a woman’s instinctive code.
A show like Sex in the City highlights many of the desires women experience. The show had 4 different characters, but they really were just caricatures of one normal woman.
At different stages of life, women can relate to ALL of the characters on portrayed on the show, which is why the show was so popular. If the show only had one of the characters, it wouldn’t have been nearly as successful.
Whether you are a man or woman, it’s critical that to understand the dual sex drives of women. It will help you to navigate many of the issues that may arise in and out of bed.
Another big difference between men and women revolve around their sexual peak.
Women don’t reach their sexual peak until after age thirty, while men peak by the time they are twenty.
This discrepancy often leads to serious issues in the bedroom — especially when dating someone around the same age.
These ages aren’t written in stone, so there are many exceptions. However, it’s important to be cognizant of this difference so that you can be proactive in addressing certain issues.
Women can only bear one offspring per year and the number of years they can have children are more limited than men.
As a result, their urges to reproduce are more concentrated than men, which results in frequent ‘issues’ between the sexes.
Women can experience both clitoral and vaginal orgasms. They also have the potential for multiple orgasms.
This seems unfair, but it’s just nature’s way of balancing the scales.
Woman don’t have the aggressive instincts to choose their mates like men, but they get a better payoff for accepting.
Men are far simpler sexually.
A male’s sex drive grows stronger the longer he goes without sex. It ends rather quickly with a singular orgasm. This is likely due to the fact that he needs a consenting female which isn’t always easy to find.
Over time, a man’s need for sexual release can become overwhelming. He will often do anything to gain a female’s consent. Sometimes this results in a male acting desperate or worse!
His sexual frustration can also result in lowering of standards more than women. Most males are content having sex with ANY female he finds desirable. In fact, when a man sees a woman, the first thing he instinctively calculates is whether he would have sex with them or not.
Furthermore, a man’s orgasm is primarily physical.
Men get nearly the same level of satisfaction from masturbating or oral sex as they do with intercourse.
Women require physical AND emotional satisfaction. Masturbation is not nearly as satisfying as it is for men.
Keep these differences in mind and they will serve you well in finding/pleasing a mate.
You may be surprised to know that BOTH men and women are inclined to seek a VARIETY of sexual partners.
However, a man typically exhibits this desire more due to the thrill of the pursuit.
Men have instincts to compete in every aspect of life. It’s not coincidental that men enjoy watching or participating in sporting events more than women.
Most importantly though, men COMPETE for females.
The motivating power of competition should not be overlooked.
For example…let’s imagine a husbands who’s desire for his wife has waned and shifted to other women.
Now…imagine that another male comes into the picture and starts desiring his wife.
The introduction of just one competing male can completely reverse his feelings about his wife and odds are good he will compete to keep her.
In study after study, it’s been found that the mere possibility of competing for woman will ignite a guy’s desire — even if it is woman who he had previously lost interest in.
Common belief holds that men are born to cheat. However, it’s more accurate to say that men are born to COMPETE.
Understanding this one aspect can allow women to manipulate guys in a variety of fashions, so it’s important to process this knowledge whether you are male or female.
Knowledge is power.
Understanding the differences between men and women is crucial to mastering sexual liaisons.
You may have already known about these differences, but odds are good you haven’t applied the knowledge to your actions.
It’s human nature to think of things only from our viewpoint/perspective. As you go forward, start viewing the opposite sex from THEIR perspective.
You will be amazed at how APPLYING this knowledge will influence your behavior and lead to greater success.